November 16, 2007
The Grand Illumination
Call me, Scrooge. Wait a minute. Wrong Story. No, it’s not the wrong story just the wrong start to the story, so let’s begin again. The picture left is the "power pose" of my friends, Bob and Peggy Smolko. As you can guess by the pose, they are real estate agents. This is their old picture, their new "power pose" has the Colonial Capitol at Williamsburg in the background, which is where they live.
I met Bob and Peggy 13 years ago when they relocated to Williamsburg from Brookline, MA, a suburb of Boston. I was doing some consulting work in Williamsburg at the time; and Bob and I became quick friends. We were quite the pair. Me, with my slow speech and Southern drawl. Bob, with his long "a" - ca-ah (car), ga-ah’den (garden), you know the accent.
Well, Bob and Peg have become "Southernized" over the years. Now I am not claiming Bob’ s speech resembles mine now, but it is much softer these days. Peg still occasionally cannot understand me, but Bob can translate for her when that happens.
Every year, Bob and Peg host a " client appreciation" party at their home in Ford’s Colony in late December. Peg must cook all month, because it is always a spectacular event. I guess it was 5 years ago that I realized just how "Southernize" my buddy, Bob, had become. We were standing in a group of people and Bob was talking with one of his new neighbors who was at the party. His neighbor was a northern transplant and had just moved into their "new" home in early November.
Ever so tactfully, Bob complimented his new neighbor on their Christmas decorations. The neighbor accepted Bob’s compliment and began to wax on about his wife’s love for decorating at Christmas. Bob, then, steered the conversation into a discussion about Williamsburg’s Grand Illumination. Had the neighbor attended? Did he know the history? Bob was so masterful and then Bob ever so casually dropped the line, "you know, most folks wait until the Grand Illumination before decorating their homes." Oh, my brash buddy from Boston was now a Southern gentleman! Steeped in Virginia Tradition. I was so proud!
A few days ago I noticed Christmas trees had been delivered to the grocery stores. I saw a Salvation Army kettle last night in front of a Ukrop’s. One of our neighbors already has placed wreaths and garlands on the exterior of their home. (They own Westbury Pharmacy so I can only assume it is ploy to guilt us into decorating our homes earlier and buying what we need from them!) Com’ on, we’re a week before Thanksgiving. Don’t make me have Bob talk to you.
And if you didn’t know, The Grand Illumination will be on Sunday, December 2, 2007.
This should get a special award for the winner other than a Starbucks or Blockbuster gift card. I am still debating what the winner will receive. 
About a year ago, I helped a family from Los Vegas relocate to Richmond. As usual in these relocations, you become close with the family, since you are their savant on all things Virginia. This pacticular family had some close friends in Northern Virginia, who kept telling them once they got settled they’d take them to the Neck. So when the question arose, "Brick, what is the Neck our friends are talking about it?", I was prepared. 
If Tim Kaine was a Virginian and had attended Virginia’s public schools, then he would have gotten a good dose of Virginia history since it is taught (at least when I was coming along) in 4th grade, 7th grade and then once more in 11th grade. Much like his fellow Minnesotan, Hubert Humphrey, who always had a solution for a problem we didn’t have, Kaine’s recent attempted mandate to ban smoking in restuarants just shows his disconnection with Virginia and especially Richmond. 
We, Virginians, are very proud of our history and without provocation, warning, or permission are likely to launch into a history lesson whether you want it or not. Since you’re now living below the Mason-Dixon line, the polite and accepted thing to do is to listen, nod and act interested. We always appreciate it, if you’ll throw in a few "fascinatings" while we are droning on.